I can sense a burnout coming...
I can sense a burnout coming. I’ve been in situations like this so many times before; it’s gotten to a point where I could predict, within an error margin of plus/minus 8 days (huh?), when I’m going to have my meltdown.
It’s just all the things that have been happening around me lately. The highs, the lows, the hi dee lowy hoes.
Soon I’ll be having a writer’s block, and I won’t be able to function until I recover again.
I think I might be having some sort of a mid-twenties breakdown.
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Ditching the bitches and jerks in my life is waaaaay harder than I thought. Why is that? Doesn’t make sense. It defies even a drunk’s logic. Dumping people you love but hate is supposed to be easy and liberating. Yes, it has been liberating, but easy?
I’m confused about my mixed emotions. I mean, I am happy about those difficult decisions I made. But there are times when I feel like I’m having some withdrawal reactions (you know, like when a substance addict goes to rehab and tries to be clean, the initial stages are often the most difficult because the cravings are too strong to ignore). And my “withdrawal symptoms” tend to intensify when I’m tired and feeling down. Like I am right now.
I can sense a burnout coming…
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2 comments:
Some comments from an outsider with very little context--
You are not an automaton. Of course you can't simply cut yourself off from part of your past without experiencing some WTF about it all. Humans just aren't built that way. And good thing too, or we'd all be freakin' sociopaths. It's hard to take those steps--but it seems that you took them for very valid reasons. Don't forget that.
And good thing too, or we'd all be freakin' sociopaths.
Thank you for this insight. You just reminded me that it's okay to feel this way. Sometimes I get to the point where I beat myself up for being "too emotional" or "sappy"...
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